Why we fail at reaching our goals and how to finally achieve anything you want.
Happy Monday, everyone. Today I wanted to write about goals, why we sometimes fail at them and how to actually achieve them. I know it’s a weird time to be talking about goal setting since we’re in September but you can start goal setting at any time in your life. Something I just started doing was writing down monthly goals. I still have my yearly goals but breaking it down into months helps me reach the overall goal. First let’s talk about why we fail at goals.
Why We Fail At Reaching Our Goals
We often fail at achieving our goals for multiple reasons but these two are the ones that hold us back the most.
1. You Didn’t Actually Want To Accomplish It
Every year or month there is that one goal that we put on our list every time and it just never gets accomplished. This is probably because you actually don’t want to accomplish it! For example, you can put “eat more broccoli” but you hate broccoli. You can put “dress up for work more often”, but you actually don’t care what you wear to work (& that’s totally fine). Stop putting things on your list if you actually don’t want to accomplish those things! Also, never put a goal on your list that is for someone else. For example, don’t put “lose weight” because someone made a comment about your weight. If you don’t mind that you gained a couple pounds then don’t put this as your goal. If you continue to put goals on your list that you don’t actually intend to accomplish, then you’ll start to feel bad that you’re not achieving the things you thought you wanted.
2. It Wasn’t Realistic
No, you will not look like Kylie Jenner by the end of the year, so don’t even think about it. (Never compare your body to someone else’s because it’s IMPOSSIBLE to look exactly like someone else!!!) So, don’t feel bad when you can’t get a body like someone else’s. Everyone has different bone structure, something you CANNOT change. Also, if you genuinely don’t have time for something, like “work out 4x a week for 1 hour” then don’t write it down. Simply write down “start exercising more”. That’s more realistic. Be honest with your self when it comes to your own personal goals. Instead of me writing down “read 20 books this year” I wrote down “read more books”. To be even more specific, I put “read a book every month”. It’s way more achievable and way more realistic!
Side Note: I realize there’s a million reasons why we fail at goals, such as personal reasons, family reasons, or work reasons. These are just general reasons.
Now we know why we “fail” at achieving our goals, let’s talk about the real and only reason why you can’t achieve your goals.
Self-Discipline
The only reason we fail to achieve something is because we don’t have self-discipline. I say we because I often struggle with this too. I used to have days where I’m like “I don’t feel like working out today”, and I listen to myself and don’t work out. That day turns into days and days turn into weeks and now it’s been months since I worked out. I then tried to figure out why I wasn’t doings what I actually wanted to do. I wanted to workout 4x a week but some days I didn’t feel like it. Something I learned was to not listen to that voice. I stopped telling myself I don’t feel like doing something because “I’m tired” or “Maybe tomorrow”. Eventually, I trained my brain into thinking working out isn’t a priority. Well here’s the thing, you can train your brain and body to do anything. It’s called self-discipline.
“Self-discipline is the ability to control one’s feelings and overcome one’s weaknesses; the ability to pursue what one thinks is right despite temptations to abandon it”
Self-discipline is ignoring that voice in your head saying you can’t do it. Self-discipline is telling yourself you are strong enough. Self-discipline is the only way you can achieve your goals. You have the power and the control to do anything in your life. You have to tell yourself, “I’m going to do what I said I was going to do”. You have to push yourself to do that workout, to finally meal prep, to read a book every month, to get promoted, to go hiking.
The only reason I now workout 4x a week is because I tell myself I have to. It’s what I wanted to do, it’s a goal I want to achieve every week so I’m going to do. Of course, it’s not easy and there’s other factors in our life that get in the way of that, but once that’s over we get back to it. We go back to working out, eating healthy, running, reading, drawing, spending time with family. We go back to what we need to do because it’s what we want to do.
We write down our goals because it’s something we actually want to achieve, right? If you have a goal right now that you’re not going to actually do, erase it or change it because it’s not going to happen unless you really want it. Before every workout I start with an intention. Why am I working out? Who am I working out for? I tell myself “I’m working out today because it will make my body stronger, leaner and look good (to be honest)”. That’s another thing, be honest with your goals. Never set goals for other people. So, when I workout it’s for me. It’s because I feel good after every work out. I hold on to my intention throughout my workout and it motivates me to continue.
To sum it up, there’s not one “perfect” path to achieve your goals. You’re going to slip up but that’s okay because you’re not a robot. Self-discipline is the one and only way you can achieve a goal. Motivation only lasts seconds, but self-discipline is the willpower to go further if one truly wants to. Always set a goal with an intention to want to achieve it then hold on to that intention throughout your journey. Good luck, everyone.
Until next time,
comment: what are your tips on how to achieve goals?
Such a great post! I struggle with this all the time! I keep pushing and some days I’m like…am I doing it all for nothing?
Jessie
http://www.theramblingraccoon.com
No you’re not! Remember why you started and keep pushing!
Great post!! So true that one of the reasons we may fail is because we set an unrealistic goal. I think it’s important for us to be realistic when setting goals, that way we are actually motivated since it’s achievable.
Exactly! Also, breaking it down into mini goals helps a lot towards the bigger goal (:
Excellent post. I’ve recently learned to set realistic goals which are achievable rather than pushing myself towards things that are inevitably going to fail. Still challenging but not overwhelming, so I am often able to achieve all I set.
Thank you for sharing.
Being honest with our goals is honestly the only way we can achieve them!
Thank you for reading and commenting (:
I agree with you on mastering your thoughts, it’s hard at times. SSB Consulting
We are in control of what we think and do. I know it’s hard but if you really want something those hard times will be well worth it (:
Yes, so true! Without self discipline, achieving anything in life will be difficult
Great post!I have been trying to work really hard on motivating myself to accomplish things, and the only thing I am failing at is working out. I’m trying to get better, so I guess one thing at a time!
Start with a small goal, like working out for 15 mins 3x a week. Routines are hard to establish but I promise it gets easier! (:
Great post – I feel like you hit a super important point here… Do you REALLY want to achieve that goal, or do you just enjoy talking about it?
EXACTLY! Sometimes our goals are just to say that we’ve done something or it sounds cool but we don’t actually want to do it LOL (:
Thanks for this great post. Sometimes we need to read this to understand that failing is easy and we need to keep trying. And so true about the self discipline and and setting realistic goals.
Good luck with your goals and thanks for reading! (:
Yes, so true! I love how you list out the reasons goals are getting accomplished as well. And you’re right, it really does come down to self discipline. Having self discipline will not only benefit you in achieving your goals, but through so many other aspects in your life. You’re keeping a promise to yourself and it gives you power.
We have the power and control to think & do anything in our life in any situation that comes our way (:
I guess the one thing I remember when I set goals is that I will miss 100% if the shots I don’t take. Thanks for the tips! Also, many times done is better than perfect. Good luck with all of your goals.
We should always take chances but that’s what gets us closer to our goals! Thanks for reading and good luck with your goals too (:
This is such an informative read dear, and I couldn’t agree more, especially on setting realistic goals.
Jessica | notjessfashion.com
Thanks for reading! (:
This was such a great post and literally what I needed to hear today, thank you! 🙂 xx
Thank you for reading! Good luck with your goals (:
Such a great post! I have to work on self-discipline and totally agree with the point on setting realistic goals!
http://www.sundaydahlias.com
Setting realistic goals helps with self-discipline because we set goals that are actually obtainable. Thanks for reading (:
So true! I make to-do lists and try to do short-term goals that serve as steps toward my long-term goals! :] It’s been working out fairly well for me so far!
That’s awesome! I do the same thing every month and it’s honestly the only way to stay on track. Good luck with your goals (:
Perseverance is key. “Never give up on something you can’t go a day without thinking about.”
I couldn’t agree more dear, especially with discipline. Thanks for this lovely read!
Jessica | notjessfashion.com
Great post! I completely agree with you on self-discipline. It is so necessary to achieve our goals, but sometimes easier said than done.
https://www.makelifemarvelous.com/
I often struggle with being all talk and no walk but I have to push myself if I ever want to achieve my goals.